With Distance

by Sometimes the Cat

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1.
Milk 03:36
Every day is a new beginning, sit on your porch and watch the dawn spiral in I wonder why I'm here and why you see fit to keep me around And morning comes and with it the birds call out to the breeze as they fly over the neighbourhood And when you go inside, I know it's time to stop wasting your time And it was smooth like silk and wet like milk when your hands brushed across my face And your fingertips slid along my cheeks as they circled 'round the open space In the grey, grey morning from which I wake Through the May Day glasses of chardonnay Through the waning light of the day and all through the afternoon, I watch you Pacing up and down on the stairs and walking through the hall into the living room And into the evening you close up the curtains, and lock the door and stay inside And as you pass by where I sit upon the Chesterfield, I feel your fingers send a shiver down my spine And it was smooth like silk and wet like milk when your hands moved around inside my clothes And your fingertips slipped along the straps on my dress to places I don't know In the fading ghost of the day In the vague, vague memory of your name I don't think that you need to say I don't like myself, I don't like myself I can't wait 'til I get my chance To be someone else, to be somewhere else I like the way that you bring me down, when I thought that I couldn't get lower than this I love the way I'm pushed to the ground and I can't get up and you leave me with a kiss In a way I can't remember anything Yesterday you made a lot of promises
2.
I will float like fishes upside down I will float like children when they're trying not to drown I will sink with rocks tied to my legs I will sink down to the bottom 'til I'm pulled away And I won't come back No, I won't come back I will make a run out into the dark I will make a run for it until I'm out of breath I've been having trouble opening up I've been having trouble and I can't say I'm doing everything I can No, I won't come back And I won't come back No, I won't come back Yeah, I can't come back I need to address my habits, I guess I owe it to you to explain them I don't have a face I can face people with And I don't want people to hear me I do my best to hide in assumptions I crouch down so they can't see me I don't know how to be myself I guess I should be content with this Oh, I know I'm not alone I know that's just the busy tone I'm gonna hang up the phone I'm gonna hang up there, I'm gonna hang from way up there Oh-ooh-oh, oh-ooh-oh From way up there
3.
Rabbits 02:56
It's Thursday when I write this song It's Friday when you pick up On Saturday, I'm at my parents' so you're out of luck On Sunday, you've got church And I think of sleeping in And Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and we circle 'round the bend You want to fuck like rabbits But I don't know if I'm into you And I still don't know if that is in the cards You want to fuck like rabbits But I'm seven states away I've never met you, and now I think I never will We never talk anymore, oh no I'm afraid of what we've become I make mistakes like it's my full time job So maybe this whole thing was just a mistake You want to fuck like rabbits But I don't know if I'm into you And I still don't know if that is in the cards You want to fuck like rabbits But I'm seven states away I've never met you, and now I think I never will You think you can have it, just cause you want it I think you've a lot to learn You pull out all the stops, hop like a rabbit hops But the dance don't mean you deserve it
4.
Link Rot 03:43
She's chasing shots of Robitussin with water She's wasting time, not doing things that she oughta She can't remember the last time that she had her life together The drugs won't work right She's running low on life And every night when she goes to bed, she don't know if the next day will come She's just another dead person on the internet She's just another inactive blog, a list of regrets She's just another username, a character string, an index Her writing's on the wall, year after year The dust is gathering, the links are rotting away And bit by bit every trace is erased 'til all that's left is a name She's popping pills that are giving her headaches She's brushing wrappers aside, slips through the days She's wondering what time it is and why the light's so bright There's a fire inside her skull And she wonders if it could tear a hole The shiver shiver's whispering, the strings are delicate She's just another dead person on the internet She's just another inactive blog, a list of regrets She's just another username, a character string, an index Her writing's on the wall, year after year The dust is gathering, the links are rotting away And bit by bit every trace is erased 'til all that's left is a name
5.
She said I look pretty in pink Oh, thank you, I said, but I don't think it suits me I feel so cold inside my veins and pulled back in my head She said it doesn't matter if I show up today Nobody will notice and they'll move on without you It's better just to stay I can feel the states beneath me Louisiana at my feet I can't recognise the pieces I'm becoming incomplete I live a lonely life but it's mine and no one can take that away from me But sometimes I wish they could Sometimes I know I can't take care of myself She said the heartache runs In those bitter lines of blue I feel so overwrought I don't know what to do I can feel the weight above me Crashing down on what's below I can't recollect the pieces There is nothing I don't know
6.
Saccharine 04:00
You're a sweet sugar drip syrup I can't drink any more or I'll puke I feel the liquid flowing down my throat I stand in the bathroom I look in front of me I see the face look back out from the mirror But it doesn't look any clearer I'm a heartless little motherfucker I get by on the little things I spit out gooey drip I didn't want slip anyhow Yet I go back for more This I don't know how to address I always feel like I'm in a mess You're too saccharine for anyone to bear And I'm astonished that I put up with you for so long I hope you're hurt, I hope you're sad, I want awful things to happen to you Though you don't deserve it, and I hope you never have to hear this song You're a light-inducing particle You float around me in the air You're up on everything I try to force myself to care I end up on the floor I can't stop me from falling down And I don't think you need me around I'm a bitter little pill to swallow I don't go down without a glass You're always looking forward I seem to just dwell on the past I wait for you to leave me cold But I guess I'm just what you like I guess I'd like to ask you why You're too saccharine for anyone to bear And I'm astonished that I put up with you for so long I hope you're hurt, I hope you're sad, I want awful things to happen to you Though you don't deserve it, and I hope you never have to hear this song Maybe I'm wrong and this is what is right and I will just stay silent, accept it 'cause that's what life's about I don't need anything, I just exist for other people I'm too cynical for anyone to bear And I'm astonished that you put up with with for so long I hope you're hurt, I hope you're sad, I want awful things to happen to you Though you don't deserve it, and I hope you never have to hear this song
7.
I tried to be a nihilist, and then I realised I'm the opposite I think that everything means something though really I hate it for that I tried to be a scientist, and then I realised I'm too dumb for that I'll leave it to folks who know what to do, and I'll fall back down in my place I'd like to say that I don't care But if I didn't care, I wouldn't try I'd like to say that I don't care But if I didn't care, I wouldn't try I'm breathing, breathing, I'm a good person I know how to get through the day without falling on the floor Without falling on my face I'm laughing, laughing, I'm a nice person I know how to get through the day without tearing up Without tears in my eyes I'd like to say that I don't care But if I didn't care, I wouldn't try (no I wouldn't) I'd like to say that I don't care But if I didn't care, I wouldn't try (no, no no I wouldn't swear to god) I've got feelings, I'm just like you I'm still here with feelings like you I've got feelings, I'm just like you I'm still here with feelings like you I've got feelings, I'm just like you I'm still here with feelings like you I've got feelings, I'm just like you I'm still here with feelings like you I've got feelings, I'm just like you I'm still here with feelings like you I've got feelings, I'm just like you I'm still here with feelings like you I've got feelings, I'm just like you I'm still here with feelings like you I've got feelings, I'm just like you I'm still here with feelings like you I've got feelings, I'm just like you I'm still here with feelings like you
8.
I can't figure out why, but you act like I'm the greatest person on Earth My attention means the whole wide world and then some Guess I shouldn't be complaining but it's not something I know how to deal with Yeah, I think you're fine and all, but it's clear that you like me more than I like you I was never there for you And I have never cared for you And I'm not especially nice, not especially nice, not especially nice I was never there for you And I have never cared for you And I'm not especially nice, not especially nice, not especially nice I don't know how to tell you when enough is enough Sure, I like to be with you but you tend to lure me in Now I've found it's easier to not engage you at all I'm hoping that you'll find someone better than me, someone you deserve I was never there for you And I have never cared for you And I'm not especially nice, not especially nice, not especially nice I was never there for you And I have never cared for you And I'm not especially nice, not especially nice, not especially nice Though I wish I had the wherewithal To be there for you and to give my all And hold you and love you and kiss you and hug you and see you and need you and stay by your side But we both know that that's not me I was never there for you And I have never cared for you And I'm not especially nice, not especially nice, not especially nice I was never there for you And I have never cared for you And I'm not especially nice, not especially nice, not especially nice I was never there for you And I have never cared for you And I'm not especially nice, not especially nice, not especially nice I was never there for you And I have never cared for you And I'm not especially nice, not especially nice, not especially nice
9.
I'm glad you're having me over It's been so long since we've talked The days and weeks have been passing me by And I've holed up alone in my house It's dark and cold this evening And inside we sit by the fire The record player's on, and the needle is pressing Past dust on your copy of Louder Than Bombs And we sing Smiths songs the whole night long 'Til neither of us know the words 'Til we fall to the floor and the clock hits the hour We both know I should've gone home 'Cause home is where the hearth is And bottles line the hearth Home is where the heartbreak is 'Cause heartbreak comes so easily Morrissey's voice is like yours Well, no, it's not, but you duet so sweetly "Panic" in the streets of "London", you say But "Asleep" is where I'd rather be Then you stand up and pull at my arms Say I've got to get up from the couch I want to say that I'd like nothing more than to dance But the words die inside of my mouth And we sing Smiths songs the whole night long 'Til neither of us know the words 'Til we fall to the floor and the clock hits the hour We both know I should've gone home 'Cause home is where the hearth is And bottles line the hearth Home is where the heartbreak is 'Cause heartbreak comes so easily Not another drop, yeah, you've got to stop You implore as you try to go on I say, "I'm done," when we finish off the bottle But then you glance back to the shelf And we sing Smiths songs the whole night long 'Til neither of us know the words 'Til we fall to the floor and the clock hits the hour We both know I should've gone home And then we get drunk And then we get drunk And then we get drunk And then we get drunk And then we get drunk And then we get drunk And then we get drunk And then we get drunk And then we get drunk And then we get drunk And then we get drunk
10.
When You Go 03:04
I'm walking up to the stairs Unlock the door and I slip inside The living room is barren And the air is cold as ice The house is empty And I don't know when you're coming home You left so early And I really wish you'd left a note (please leave a note, babe) And I never meant for this to happen And I never meant for you to know, oh I'm hoping and I'm praying Hear the words I'm saying Darling, tell me when you go I'm stepping through the kitchen And I end up in the hall And I'm faced with the empty space Where the pictures hung on the wall The house is empty And I know you're not coming home You left so easily And I'm glad you didn't leave a note (yeah, I'm glad, babe) And I hoped that this would never happen And I wanted you to never know, oh I'm begging and I'm pleading Down upon my knees, I'm asking Darling, tell me when you go And I never wanted this to happen And you never ever should have known, oh I'd tell you that I'm sorry But I know you won't hear me So darling, tell me when you go And I know this never should have happened And you should have been the first to know, oh Tell me you won't come back I think I need to hear that So darling, tell me when you go I'm busy just existing And you're the one I'm missing So darling, tell me when you go
11.
Meth 02:02
I'd do anything to just get out my mind I would run the numbers down, now I'd do anything if it just killed me some time Though I would never live it down, no But never methamphetamines I know they'd be the death of me Oh, like Walter White Or El Barbas I don't want to prove those fuckers right If it matters I want to stand high above I want to wear my Sunday best I'll find the people who care And I'll shout "fuck the rest!" I'd do anything to feel like that I've died Short of, you know (ǁ), actually doing it I'd do anything and I'll tell any lie 'Cause if I say it enough then I might just start to believe it I'll do anything to make me feel I'm fine Though I know it, though I know it, though I know it won't make things right But never methamphetamines I know they'd be the death of me Oh, like Walter White A schoolteacher Though I got bored watching the second episode It felt pointless And I'm tired And I'm weary And I can't sleep So where's that leave me?
12.
Deary diary, have I given up yet? How much time do I have left? She loves me; she loves me not Does it matter in the end? I've got a million different ways to live my life I've got a million different ways I could be right How do I love thee? Let me count the ways Circle gets the square, night turns to day Once more with feeling before I stop And go, and go, and go I've got a million different ways to live my life I've got a million different ways I could be right I've got a million different ways to waste my time And there's a million others waiting in line I'm a wreck, you know I'm a mess Held together by some string and tape Overreaching, underachieving It's no wonder, it's no wonder I've got a million different ways to live my life I've got a million different ways I could be right I've got a million different ways to waste my time And there's a million others waiting in line There's a million different days between our lives There's a million different ways you could be right There's a million different rays of shining light And there's a million other ways to die
13.
13 02:58
I can't sleep anymore I lie in bed, the lights are off and darkness sinks between my toes Yet I dream other lives People who I'll never know are burning in the back of my mind I can't tell what's real or fake, I'm feeling like it's make or break And right now I'm just breaking and buying it Everything is passing by, the clock is ticking out of time And I'm losing sense of where I was headed It's six o'clock in the morning and I can't remember sleeping And as a human being I feel like I'm rotting away It's ten o'clock in the morning and time peels back like an onion And I'm finding other people's all that's left I can't sleep anymore Not that I used to sleep, but you know I guess I thought that I had something I can't feel anymore I took everyone I knew and put them in one place and then I shut them out I can't sing anymore I've reduced down to three chords and simple words repeated over in choruses I can't lie anymore But I still can't tell the truth so I'll shut up It's five o'clock in the evening and my day amounts to nothing And I watched it get to this place It's ten o'clock in the night time and it all feels the same And I guess that has to be okay And I know that I'm really not the person I appear to be I flash a smile and say it's all okay But hopefully people will see I'm not a paragon of honesty And hopefully you'll realise how fucked up I am
14.
I've been painted up like pigeons on your bedroom wall I'll hide underneath the blankets heaped along the hall Now asleep I reach up through feather dreams I feel warm and safe, wrapped around, enveloped tight I've got nothing I'd like more than to stay the night Darkness sinks into space 'twixt me and you Life traipses in through the door, afloat on her feet as if spinning on ice She pulls the books from the shelves, thrown down to the ground as she tries to entice I don't know what to do, I still remember you I've been painted up like pigeons on your bedroom wall I'll hide in between your sheets until the clock bird's call Under navy blue, I don't know about you But I feel alright, and I haven't been alright in a long time You make me feel okay, and it's been so long since I've felt that way And everything's fine, and I'm yours and I'd say you're mine Until we wake up again
15.
Appendix 03:45
Smoke billows below, it's stop-and-go traffic All down the roadway, into the neighbourhood Day after day and year after year But nothing changes I live alone in a bungalow Go past the park and leave behind the condos House after house and street after street We have to make ends meet And though everybody dies frustrated and sad You're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful And though everybody dies cold and alone You're powerful, you're powerful, you're powerful, you're powerful And though you've come up to the end of the sidewalk Go on, move on, go by, say bye-bye And date and sign the paper I'm living tired, over up and under Moon overhead, glow down on asunder Life pouring through the glassy wall I've never felt so tall I'm holding on 'til the credits are done I'd like to get all I can for my dime Name after name and role after role I can't have known them all And though everybody dies frustrated and sad You're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful And though everybody dies cold and alone You're powerful, you're powerful, you're powerful, you're powerful And though you've come up to the end of the sidewalk Go on, move on, go by, say bye-bye And date and sign the paper Smoke billows, I walk into oncoming traffic Over the asphalt, into the roundabout Cars circle 'round like buzzards and vultures I lie down on the cement I'm living life with what I've got I'm trying to be someone I'm not All of the notes are falling into the wrong key

about

Badgie always referred to this collection of songs while I was working on it as the 'summer album'—and even as it's almost winter when I'm putting this record out there, somehow that designation feels apt. Some of these songs were written in the wintertime or spring, and others in the summer; most were recorded deep in the throes of summer, leading into early autumn.

This is not just stuff I left off the last one... even though some of it is stuff I left off the last one. But that was for a reason: it dealt with different themes. But now I've sewn these songs together, some new and some old, and I hope you'll enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoyed making it.

Because I really enjoyed making it.

(And a happy happy birthday to me.)

credits

released November 18, 2017

SOMETIMES THE CAT can barely contain
April Friedman, lending to the songs her vocals, electric & acoustic guitars, bass guitar, ukulele, drums, and now various MIDI programming

all music and lyrics by April, except
RABBITS - introductory sample composed by Justin Luchter from LEGO® Backlot
NOT ESPECIALLY NICE - bassline basically written by "Dictionary Attack guy"
ALCOHOLISM BEGINS AT HOME - title and lyric with reference to the Smiths
13 - end portion with chord progressions by Brett
APPENDIX - lyric with reference to They Might Be Giants' "Don't Let Start"

DEDICATED to
Badgie and Floyd, for listening
j2, for talking
Misago and Autumn, for your eternal support
Noah, for convincing me to use a real music program
Charlie, for being the all-around best human
and all the other people who keep me going

produced, mixed, compiled, and mastered by April
(with assistance from Lesley <3)
artwork photographed by April, creator unknown

Dress Dress Dress Recordings
GRR 037

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Sometimes the Cat Missoula, montana

Sometimes the Cat is

glasnost (content generation algorithm)

and perestroika (object to be destroyed).

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